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May 18 2018



love… is stored in the cat

May 16 2018

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Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled!

Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: *sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm*

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read?

Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word “i cup” composed?

Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy?

Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon.

May 15 2018


i love jane eyre but honestly imagine being friends with that bitch. like imagine trying to convince her to leave rochester and she’s like idk and you’re like he called u ugly???? he keeps his secret wife locked in the attic???? wake up???? and then you think she finally has it sorted out and she calls you a few months later like “his wife killed herself and burned down the house so it’s cool we’re getting married” like !!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DO YOU GO TO THAT WEDDING!!!!!!



Thanos, a philosophy and economics double major who thinks once you eat a plant it will never grow back: i have to slaughter half the universe’s population with the infinity stones, so that no one ever runs out of resources and starves

Thor, a phys ed and linguistics major with a minor in women’s studies, taking a sip of his strawberry protein shake: can’t you just use the infinity stones to create more resources tho?

Thanos: blocked

Thor: Unblock me I need to tell you something

Thanos: What?

Thor: Bitch

May 13 2018

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l i m b o l a n d

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May 11 2018

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May 07 2018



one time i got mugged and that’s the day i realized there are just too many actually bad people in the world for any of us to be worried about furries. oh no they wanna be a wolf and date a lemur……. cool did they mug you? no? why are you concerned it’s not your business

like we could die any day. just get murdered. just get hit by a car. just fall out of bed the wrong way and you want to make ur stand against someone who dresses up as a large cat I just don’t have the energy to waste

May 06 2018

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  • waterfall vs LOWAS (the land of wind and shade)
  • the CORE vs LOLAR (the land of light and rain)
  • hotland vs LOHAC (the last of heat and clockwork)
  • snowdin vs LOFAF (the land of frost and frogs)

is it just me or do all of the locations in undertale match up to locations in homestuck?



vs derse

new home

vs prospit

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This terrifying eel-robot will perform maintenance on undersea equipment



who are you calling terrifying this is clearly a friend of the highest quality

all yall with ur “uwu smol friend” bullshit gonna let us walk right into the fucking robot apocalypse someone could make a metal gear in real life and youd all say its adorable

this is exactly the kind of shit im talking about when i say i have no patience for people who look at robots and immediately start thinking about terminator shit. why is this terrifying? because it looks like a snake? so the fuck what? the reason robots are made to look like existing organisms is because those organisms have a several million year head start on robotics engineers on solving problems like how to move in water while expending minimal energy or how to walk over uneven terrain while carrying a heavy load.

it’s also really telling that people are much more scared of these organic robots that fall into the uncanny valley than they are of drones, which are robots that currently exist and have been killing people for several years. if a “robot apocalypse” does end up happening, it wont be due to organic-looking robots suddenly achieving sentience and deciding to wipe out all life on earth, it’ll be because some rich asshole or a war-hungry country sees new technology with the potential to kill people and harnesses it for that purpose, which has already happened several times over the course of human history.

tl;dr: stop opposing technological advancements with massive potential for good because you watched Terminator once, also this snake is cute and a friend

i was joking but honestly? this is a Hot Take

May 03 2018

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I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later.

And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole.

There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly.

Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.

May 02 2018

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some things are more important than others



When a customer says some Weird Shit in the middle of check-out,

Okay, so very recently, I was cashiering for Publix, and it was late at night, and I actually didn’t wanna be there, go figure. So this woman walks up, buying about 15-20 items, which is a pretty clean run for me, so I’m scanning her groceries, and we carry a small conversation.

During this conversation, she asks me if I’m in school, and I say yes. I tell her about how exams went, as they were near that period, and told her I had a Biology exam that was over genetics. And she looks me straight in the eyes, with seriousness of a heart attack being read in every wrinkle of her white soccer mom face, and says: “Oh, I’m a Christian, I don’t believe in genetics.”

Flabbergasted. My eyes do that spinny rainbow thing that Apple computers do when theyre buffering. A second goes by. I’ve gone through all stages of grief at this point, but haven’t reached acceptance. I have to say something, I have to say SOMETHING. If I just stare at her through this, she’ll know I think she’s fucking dumb and she might get angry, and I don’t need that. Two seconds have gone by. I have stopped scanning groceries at this point, and am just being violently shot back and forth between two sections of the galaxy. I can feel my body taking leave of my soul. Three seconds. I have to say something. 

“Anyway, I did well on my accounting exam, so that’s something. Do you have any coupons?”













TIL the two centers of the brain responsible for depression and anxiety respectively are both slightly bigger than each other, which explains a lot.

via reddit.com

Bigger than each other what? Whats bigger than what? Anyine able to parse this and explain it?

They’re just larger in size from one another I don’t know how to simplify it more than that.

I think they’re asking which one is larger, which is… fair.

The one that’s bigger is the larger one.

How can they both be bigger than the other? For one to be bigger, the other needs to be smaller.

no they’re both too large to be the smaller one

The link isn’t even helpful

have you tried clicking it?

just say if the depression center is begger than the anxiety one!!!

i’m afraid it’s not that simple, you see, they’re both bigger than each other.





i hate anime. midoriya always gets described as plain looking as if thats his most distinguishable attribute. his hair is fucking green

logan they live in a world where kids can have car engines in their legs

Home girl is pink with horns and spits acid

Boyo has a bird for a head and that’s not even his superpower.

May 01 2018





me playing any video game: *does not touch the block button at all throughout the game*

#no block button we lose like men

#dodge or die #there is no block

what the fuck is this dodge nonsense? You hit them harder and faster than they hit you and That Is How You Play Video Game

April 30 2018



faberge eggs inherently funny on a conceptual level

just a huge. fuckin. giant fucking glitter egg with absolutely no purpose whatsoever thirty three million dollars



dread it. run from it. destiny still arrives

when the essay due at midnight and your shit a page long at 11:45

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